Hawkeye: I thought he was dead.
Trapper: He got better.

- MASH

Radar: I wanna tell you something, anybody says anything about Iowa better be prepared to back it up, pal. I'll give you a fist-full of Iowa naivete right in the puss! How about that? You know I don't need you to tell me what's what. I know what's what just as well as you do. So why don't you just crawl back in your bottle of booze and pickle yourself? Ha!

- MASH

Frank Burns: Why does everyone take an instant dislike to me?
Trapper: It saves time, Frank.

- MASH