Spike has once again run another of my patented top 10 lists, this time I tackled the top 10 "Crappiest Cars in Movie History" including the Family Truckster from "National Lampoon's Vacation," the International Harvester from "Teen Wolf" and even the dreaded Herbie the Love Bug from the movie of the same name. That's right, Herbie sucks. Call me when Disney makes a movie about an Aston Martin DB9 that has free will and a mind of its own.

Then, the man blog Aslyum, one of the many blogs run by America Online, has hired me as their new (don't laugh) fitness reporter (I knew that wouldnt stop you from laughing). I'll also be doing some lists for them as well, but in the meantime you can my review of Terrell Owens' latest fitness book "Finding Fitness" and learn how you can use to tighten and tone your massive male ego.

LINK:http://www.spike.com/blog/10-crappiest-cars-in/69217.
LINK: http://www.asylum.com/2008/11/18/terrell-owens-shows-you-how-to-exercise-your-ego/.

Halloween is almost here, ahhh my favorite religious holiday, and so Spike.com has published another one of my hee-larious lists in honor of this wonderful holiday that counts down the 10 Wussiest Movie Monsters Ever including old favorites like Frankenstein and the Devil from "Legend" (who uses his unholy hellstorm powers to destroy...two unicorns?!?!) and some surprising ones like...well, you'll just have to read it and find out for yourself, you lazy bastard.

Head over to Spike.com and be sure give me a Digg or drop a comment, a positive one, stupid. Honesty is for court baliffs and married men.

LINK: at http://www.spike.com/blog/wussiest-movie/70062

If you live in the Ohio area and have nothing better to do on a Friday or Saturday night (and given the fact that it's Ohio, I'm guessing the odds of that are pretty good), then head over to the Shadowbox Theater for their Halloween show called "Raisin' Hell," which features two of my new sketches. Tell them I sent you and you're paying back the bar tab that I ran up there the last time I was in Columbus. The latest show will run through Nov. 14 and each show starts at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Friday and Saturday followed by another 10:30 p.m. show on Friday and Saturday.

The movie humor column you don't know or love is making its big comeback with a tragedy because I always like to make big returns and comebacks on a high note.

Read it here or you really don't love me.

I made a promise to return to my essay writing and by God, I've lived up to it...plus two days.

[IFCH] returns with some bipartisan bitching with "Wonk Like a Man. Click here to read it without commercial interruption.

Read it or die.

Love, Me.

The columns are getting their sequel. Read the Daily Blahhhg to learn more.

Ever manage to piss off a bunch of people at once? I've done just that and those people include Hulk Hogan, Ice-T and Ash from "Evil Dead II." Don't worry, I've got health insurance.

Spike.com published my second of hopefully many lists to come with "The 10 Manliest Men with the Wimpiest Sounding Names," a list of the most kick ass guys in the world who have names with syllables that will make your testicles shrink, even if you don't have any.

LINK: http://www.spike.com/blog/10-manliest-men-with/67126

Please get your friends to flood the site to my article until it crashes, so I can rule the world.

Man, time flies when you're having fun and not getting paid fast enough for it.

Cracked has decidedly not learned their lesson and published another article written by yours truly. This time it's the "6 Old School Video Games as Violent as 'Grand Theft Auto'" featuring such classics as a game where you get your head ripped off by a man eating plant, a game where you shoot innocent people for fun and an Atari 2600 remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."

Give it a read here and then go shower for an hour.

LINK: http://www.cracked.com/article_16530_history-violence-6-old-school-games-as-brutal-as-gta.html

If you're wondering why I've been wearing loads of Axe Body Spray and talking about how UFC fighter Tito Ortiz could totally kick an eagle's ass, it's because I'm all man. This was confirmed when Spike.com, the home of the Spike Network for Guys, picked me up as their newest humorous feature writer for their website

I've got a lot of interesting projects in the works that haven't come to fruition yet, but they've published my first feature this week, a handy guide called "How to Write a Will Ferrell Movie in 8 Easy Steps." It's rather a simple process. Start with Ferrell doing a lot of drinking and them have him fight an eagle by the third act. Don't forget to write in a cameo appearance for Tito Ortiz.

After a dry spell so long that you could make a martini with, I've made my triumphant return this week to the front page of Cracked. This time I tackle the subject of childhood failure and greed for glorious cash and prizes with "The 5 Most Unfair Kids Game Shows."

Go here now and give it a big Digg as well. Help me put Fun House host J.D. Roth in his place directly to Hell.