The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

- Phyllis Diller

"You don't know what pressure is until you've played for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket."

-Lee Trevino

"Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee, who has a deep suntan, a one iron in his bag and squinty eyes."

-Dave Marr

"Real men play blades", said John Carling, Sr. as he hit balls at the Studio City Golf Range last week. "All these 'game improvement' clubs, hybrids, perimeter-weighting, cavity backs, all of 'em are crap. It's just the golf industry coming up with new ways to make money. And most people fall for it. Hook, line and sinker!"